Mr Steve Jiff,
There have been a lot of harsh words exchanged between the cast and staff of Fat Robot Radio, and Mr Steve Jiff, of Jiff’s Morning Shenanigans. Hurtful things have been said on both sides. I know I have made, in the heat of the moment, a score of rash comments that I didn’t mean, and I am sure that Mr Jiff probably feels the same way. Rivalries of this nature often spiral out of control and become irrational very quickly, and in the end only the people get hurt. I’m sure Steve Jiff is an honest and forthright man, possessed of a hearty spirit and many fine qualities, as are all the citizens of Racine, Wisconsin. When I said that he was, “scum sucking vermin” that could “go to hell and die for all I care,” I was acting out of anger. It was wrong, and I apologize. I’m sure that when Tony threatened to, “cave Jiff’s empty F#@&ing head in with a F#@&ing tire iron” he didn’t mean it. No violence has ever been perpetrated on Mr Jiff, other than violence of the heart. This ends today.
This is why we at Fat Robot Radio would like to invite you, Mr Steve Jiff, to be a part of our next program as our very first guest host. It would be our honor to have you. Let’s bury the hatchet, for real this time. Not like the time one of your production assistants buried a fireman’s ax into the trunk of my car.
Hope to see you at the next taping,
Benjamin Phillips, Co-Founder, Fat Robot Omnimedia Inc.