Episode XIII: The Lost Episode

Dear Listener,

There will be no episode this week. It got lost.

Rather, it was stolen.

It might help if I explain how show day works. Tony, Brad and I arrive early at Fat Robot Laboratories, (AKA Brad’s Kitchen) to plan out the show. All the ideas for the show get written up on a big dry erase board, CD’s for the record review are selected, and the studio is otherwise prepared. Around this time the complementary cooler full of Steel Reserve arrives from our generous sponsor. I call Mr Slayer’s cell phone to tell him that the beer has arrived, and tell him what time to show up for his segments (I almost always give him a time a few hours earlier than when he is needed, just as a matter of good policy). Then we tape. A good time is had, and radio history is made. After the taping of a show, I make a copy of the file to take back to my house for editing. The only other copy rests with Phil Chevron, who among other important and indispensable duties puts our promos together and archives the program for the Museum of Radio Broadcasting and the Library of Congress. I edit the show, write the descriptions, and on Monday bring you the radio excellence you have come to expect.

Then as you know, Brad got sick, checked into a facility, and all our plans were screwed up. We haven’t seen him since.

Undaunted, Tony and I persevered. Phil gave us access to the lab, we lined up a couple of guest hosts, and we recorded. Steve Jiff hosted last week, and this week “dead air” Frank helped us out.

Not that you’ll ever hear it.

See, since we were short handed Dave Benson, AKA “Dave Jobless” was helping out around the studio. He is a huge Steve Jiff fan, and was happy to hang around while we were taping his show. When he found out that Steve had not been asked to host both of the programs that were to be taped in Brad’s absence, Dave was enraged. We taped Episode 13 as scheduled, but somewhere between when I burned it to a CD and when I got home, a clearly distraught and deranged Dave Jobless stole it from me.

This is where things get weird.

I knew Phil had a copy, so I emailed him for it, only to find out that the all the computers at the lab had been fried with some hideous computer virus. It had apparently been contracted right after Phil opened the “thanks for having me on the show” letter Steve Jiff had sent.

All the files were destroyed, including Episode 13. Go figure. Steve claims no responsibility for the incident, and as the Email was destroyed along with the computers, there is no way to disprove his claim. He is an asshole. Dave Jobless feigned ignorance, and all attempts to compile evidence to the contrary have proved futile. So it looks like the show is lost.

Except it’s not.

We have an secret operative over at Jiff’s Morning Shenanigans, who reported seeing a copy of Episode 13, and claims to have heard portions of it. I suspect that Dave gave Steve my copy, but this also has been difficult to substantiate.
I would like to sincerely apologize to all of our listeners for the lack of an episode the week. Our complicated staff issues are not your concern, and we regret having to involve you in this sordid affair. We felt you had a right to know. Once Brad gets released from Promises, and we figure out what to do about Dave Jobless and beefing up Security around the lab, the show will return to its prior glory. We will have the second episode of Brad’s SLTM The Podcast up next week, so look forward to that. In the meantime, give the archives a listen. All 12 shows are available for download, and that will have to hold you over during this trying time.


Benjamin Phillips

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