Brad Bugos - When you ask most people what those two words mean, they say “Who the hell is that?” However, if you were to ask the tens of hundreds of people who have come in contact with this person you would get something totally different. Something almost heartwarming.

“Yeah I remember Bugos” Says Mattoon Mobil 65 gas attendent Larry Perry who prounced the last name as Budge-us. “Real weirdo is what he was, very strange character. I remember he used to attend Lake Land College down the road, and he would stop in at all hours of the night to buy chico sticks and flavor Ice.”

“He also had this thing where he would grab the box of Mr. Salty pretzels and dance around singing a Mr. Salty theme song” Perry, the night shift manager parlaid to us. “Strange guy, smelled like cabbage”.

It’s true that not much is known about Brad Bugos (pronounced any damn way you like, cause it’s a free country and you don’t need anyone telling you how to pronounce some jackass’ name whom you’ve never even met), but what is know is just plain weird and incredibly dumb.

“There were lots times I would catch him putting warm dinner rolls down his pants, and then ten minutes later he would holler ‘DING’ at the top of his lungs and take them out for a bite” we were told by Dave Miller Manager of the D & W resturant in Mattoon, Illinois. “I had to kick him out more than once for eating all the sugar packets sitting on the table. What a fucking weirdo.”

Is Mattoon the only town that was marked by this freak with a bowl cut hairdo? Why does the town of Mattoon smell like shit? And who is Alan Flandhan and why does he keep sending Brad pictures of himself defacting on the Sigel town cannon?

To the answers of these questions and much more tune in monthly to Fat Robot Radio.

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